I have been working hard on the concept of self hate. I know this sounds strange but in the last year I discovered that I had lived a life of lots of self hate.
For me the words or actions of others have never bothered me as much as the things that I would do to myself. Primarily the decisions I would make that affected my life and never in a good way. I am just now understanding that the everyday life I was living was filled with a deep distrust and dislike of self. I know that many people will read this and react with a certain sarcasm but this blog is about me after all. LOL.
The reason why I write about this today is because we can always be better and do better, we can always work hard at being better than we are, kinder than we have been and more understanding. My life has always been filled with trying to give to others more than I would give to myself and I am just now realizing that I have to take care of myself first and like myself enough not to be so hard on myself. It begins with being honest with me and forgiving myeself. When someone says, "you have to forgive me", I say that to myself. I have to forgive me. For even with a career and life filled with what we deem as success, I am truly going to be more successful this next go around. You make ask how this affects my fitness, well its because I feel your fitnes success it tied to how you feel about yourself.
Look for my new website and blog next week. What am I greatful for? I am greatful for me today. What are you greatful for?
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